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From: "Bigger Better Faster More" Date: Thu, 28 Aug 2003 Subject: BiggerBetterFasterMore's Fruedian Slip Is Showing Mental Health Professional: What seems to be the problem young man? Mental Health Patient Who May or May Not Be Me: Well, in a nutshell, I can't eat, I can't sleep, I find myself daydreamning and staring off in to space all day long. I constantly have this nawing emptyness in my gut. I'm sad and wistful and angry at myself. In short, I feel like I'm coming unglued. M.H.P.: Well my friend, it looks like we have a lot of work to do if we are going to build you back into the mighty creature that you once were. To get things started right, I am going to send you away for a bit of relaxation and regrouping. The place I have in mind is: THE OLDE TOWNE TAVERN in FREDERICK, MD. I want you to check in on SATURDAY the 30th of AUGUST. Call 301-695-1454 if you have any questions. I think you wil find their many therapies very rejuvinating. Try screaming at the top of your lungs thru a powerful sound system. Add in some cussing and profuse sweating for good measure. Or perhaps you could drink your troubles away at their fully stocked bar. And for my money you just cannot beat the random nudity therapy. They are know far and wide for their pioneering work in this field. All in all, I think you will find this to be one of the FINEST group therapy settings in the country. And feel free to touch the other patients as much as you like. The only thing that's important is that you get well. M.H.P.W.M.O.M.N.B.M.: Wow doc that sounds like it could really work. God bless you for you wonderous healing powers. M.H.P.: Don't mention it. If you don't get everything you need from this experience I can also send you to: La Palapa in Ellicott City, Md on Sept 5th Break Time in Salisbury, Md on Sept 6th Red Eye's Dock Bar in Graysonville, Md on 7th of Sept, but only from 2-6 pm. Oh and take this jumbo variety pack of Lithium and Valium and see if that don't take the edge off..... Flying Over the Coo-Coo's Nest, David Mamet Arthur Miller Anton Chekov Thornton Wilder Oh yeah, I couldn't work this into the play, but time is running out to get your self entered in the "BBFM free show in your home" contest. Go to www.BiggerBetterFasterMore.net and check it out. You heard?!?
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