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From: TMoon51880@aol.com
Date: Thu, 18 May 2000 01:19:03 EDT

Subject: The BiggerBetterFasterMore of Things

BOO!

Did I scare you? I've been hiding here for hours, not moving a muscle just so that I could jump out and startle you and maybe make you whizz yourself just a little bit. So....did I??

Well, fine, don't tell me. Excuse me for trying to inject a bit of excitement in your life. I do have to tell you though, that the pressure of trying to be funny week after week, email after email is starting to take its' toll on me. I have a serious side too, ya know. I'm not just some trained monkey put on this earth to make you chuckle. I have hopes and dreams. I have melancholy days where I just want to be held. If you prick me, do I not bleed? If you hurt my feelings, do I not cry? If you kick me in the nads, do I not lunge at you in the hopes of snapping your brittle little neck before I collapse to the floor? If you spank me, do I not give you and extra $10?

All I'm trying to say is that I can't amuse you at your whim. This relationship needs a little give and take. Maybe you could tell me a funny story or anecdote. Or maybe you could just say, "Hey Tom, how's it hangin'?" Would that be so hard? And for those of you wondering about last weeks "blah, blah, blah" email. Well, let's just say that drugs are bad and leave it at that!!

This weekend BiggerBetterFasterMore will be spraying their scent all over the following super-excellent venues:

FRIDAY MAY 19 Fells Point Cafe @ 723 S. Broadway 410-327-8800. It sure is nice to have a live venue in Fells Point (that's not e.j. buggs, bleeeeccccchhh). This place is hoppin' and we shore would love to see several hundred of ya there....PLEASE. I mean, it's fells point for cryin' out loud. How can you help but have a good time? So we'll see ya there.

SATURDAY MAY 20 Old Town Tavern in Frederick, Md 301-695-1454. I would be a flat out lying bastard if I said that BBFM loved any room more that this one. Now, I'm not saying that it's our favorite, cuz that would be unfair (but y'all feel free to compete for my affections). But I will say that while a few other areas may be on par with Frederick (you know who you are), NOBODY gives us MORE love. So loyal Fredneck friends, make your plans to hang with us on Saturday and if you don't live near Frederick but you're feelin' saucy, why not hop in your horseless carriage and see how the pros party??

SUNDAY....as per the usual TOM & JODY from BiggerBetterFasterMore will join TODD from Thrill and ROB from Faded Image as "YOUZE GUYS" at PUTTY HILL STATION from 8:30-12mid.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SAY, when you come out to the shows this weekend, and you will come out this weekend, you should bring a few extra spendin' dollars cuz we just got a bitchin' new shipment of BiggerBetterFasterMore T-shirts, including YUMMY babydoll T's for all our Dottie friends and they are selling like cigarettes in prison. We also have a special shirt for all of you who are asking for FREE T-shirts. Just ask any of us for details....

HAVE you been to BiggerBetterFasterMore. net yet?? If not, why don't you give up your personal LAMENESS crusade and CHECK IT OUT. You can see lots of great photos, preview our schedule through June and read all about us and see why we are so friggin' RAD!! AND if you have already checked out the sight, you need to hightail it back there and see all the NEW PHOTOS that have just been added. Yup, we just posted pix from FREDERICK, EASTON, THE CHES. BAY BEACH CLUB and our very first BiggerBetterFasterMORON(s) OF THE MONTH. Don't forget to post some love on the guest book !!!!!!!

PSSSST, go here now BiggerBetterFasterMore.net

Financing the fickle finger of fate faithfully through Friday, Tom&Mike&Jody&DavidBigger&Better&Faster&More



 

 
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